Is it possible to find unity and sisterly love between friends? I can honestly answer yes after recalling and experiencing moments in my life where friends just didn’t live up to the reciprocity in our friendships, or they revealed their true colors in a negative sense, which doesn’t say much about their character anyway, or for the friendship for that matter.
On a positive note, it is absolutely possible to find those friends where the mutual bond is something so amazing that you start to contemplate how you used to allow other friends in your life who set the bar so low. Honesty, compassion, trust, and respect are the qualities that I would assume all people look for in a friend. Makes total sense, right? And yet, it seems like those same qualities are the ones lacking in many longtime friendships. People just continue to accept what is given to them, or stick with friends who don’t show the same characteristics or feelings. Quite mind boggling if you ask me. Perhaps it’s an insecurity thing. Maybe people feel that they’re lucky to have the friends they have in their life, so they just settle. At my age, the whole settling thing doesn’t fly anymore. I’m all about the quality of friendships, not quantity.
Now I’m doing these workshops for tween and teen girls, and realizing how hundreds of young girls just settle for certain friends they have. The meanness and bullying that goes on is beyond words. I hear stories that girls tell and it blows me away at how they can continue to be around girls who treat them with such disregard. Oh, and parents making excuses for their daughters, don’t get me started. No accountability. Ever. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Sadly, most of these same girls realize how poorly they’re being treated, and yet their vulnerability allows them to continue to be associated with those so-called friends of theirs. The cliques. The gossiping. The exclusion. The hidden aggression. Tackling the universal issue of girl on girl bullying is a huge task. The first step is getting girls to realize their own value. If they can’t value and respect themselves enough, then they will always feel that any friend will do, no matter how they’re treated. The meanness of girls has perpetuated and girls continue to be cruel to one another. Social media continues to dominate social girl world, and this is another reason how girls get away with abusing other girls.
Sisterly love does exist. There are incredible friendships that are built on that kind of love and trust where you just know how lucky you are. The movement towards kindness and girls being kind to one another is being created. Right now. Because that’s my mission. One girl at a time.
Try to recall those moments in your life where you just settled. Settled for just the mediocre friends. Change the way you think. Change the standards you’ve settled for and know you deserve better. Create the change you want to see in your life with friends who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. Then pass that on to your daughters.