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Confessions of a Hormonal Drama Queen

Everybody with teenage girls warned me. When I was pregnant the first time, my husband and I decided we wanted the baby’s gender to be a surprise. Not with my second child. The surprise factor was out of the question, especially since I had a scheduled C-section and wanted to plan everything around it. I wanted to be in control the second time around. My husband and I were on the same page, thank God. Since girl #1 came into our world, we were ecstatic about it! Now baby #2 was a girl also. So what did this mean exactly? It meant everything pink, everything princessy, everything sugar and spice and everything nice. And…everything hormonal.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m crazy in love with my daughters. But at the ages of 11 and 14, in their pre-teen and teen world, my lucky husband now has the added pleasure of dealing with puberty, brain releasing hormones and a wife that is going through pre-menopause. Need I say more?

There are record-breaking moments that occur in our house. All sorts of emotions and moods. And did I mention emotional outbursts for no reason at all? Or mood swings that get me thinking about all the different emojis I could peg in describing our moods of the moment?

Then there’s P.M.S., which usually stands for pre-menstrual syndrome. However, in our house, it stands for Pray (because only God knows what we’re going through), Move (move out of our way or you’ll be struck with the force of any object directly in front of us), and Scream (screaming seems to help release the notion that if someone isn’t listening to us talk, then we might as well scream since patience tends to run low during this time).

I love it when my husband tries to use the CALM method with me and our daughters. Cool down, Analyze the situation, Listen to yourself, and Manage your feelings. I assume he’s trying to use logic with us at times when he can’t figure out our behavior. I CALMLY say “leave the room immediately.”

So I think back to when people used to tell my husband, “good luck with all those female hormones running rampant in your house dude.” I seriously think he needs it. More than just luck, he needs a hormone surge protector. Not sure if Lowe’s or Home Depot carries one of those yet.

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