“Slow down, take it easy, you’re going too fast” is all I want to say to the young girls who are moving in on the boys and doing the pursuing. You can’t help but wonder “what do the boys really think?” and the moms of boys, who don’t know what to say to their sons as the girls make the advances. I’m sure there’s the cuteness factor in the beginning. “Aww, look at them, so adorable.” Then the reality hits, “wait, holding hands is cute, but what’s next?”
Curiosity at 12, hormones at 13 and who knows what’s to follow at 14? Kissing? Sex? All I keep hearing from moms of sons is that girls want to go farther and faster and the boys don’t know how to step on the brakes! The role of the good girl appears to be changing. Girls are pushing the envelope and the assertive girl wants the physical contact. Sure, crushes are normal. I remember my first crush at 14. My nail biting curiosity if he stared at me in class. My doodling our names together in my notebook and daydreaming out the window of taking his last name wondering what our wedding would look like.
Crushes are just so different nowadays. Beyond the doodling, girls are making the first move, and social media has hyped up the behavior. Girls are initiating the texting and phone calls to boys. Instagram and Snapchat have become the next sexual networking with girls taking provocative selfies and putting them out there in cyber world. No pause button, no turning back after hitting the send button, and within a flash, the sweet innocent affections have turned into self-destruction.
And we can’t dismiss reputations. While it’s totally normally to talk to friends about crushes, girls are using their obsessions with the opposite sex against each other. It’s the “hands-off, he’s mine” mentality of adolescent girls. Boy crushes and dating can be the threat of all threats with girls. Two girls liking the same boy and the friendship break-ups that follow. And what about the negative effects of relationships turning sour? Boys not reciprocating with the girls who chase them? Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety. All the emotions running rampant and the obsessive, assertive behavior destroying their self worth.
Bottom line is, we can’t just sit back as parents and pray and hope that our little girls make good choices when it comes to boys. It’s more than just teaching good values and morals. It’s more than just hoping our girls take precaution as soon as they walk out the front door and take off to the co-ed parties. It’s way more than we can possibly imagine. And if I hear another parent telling me “oh no, my daughter isn’t there yet”, I think I’ll scream. Little do the parents know, their daughters are already “there”, but they’re driving faster in the obsessive boy crush lane and acting upon their crushes. As mothers of daughters, we need to take close heed of changes in our daughters’ behavior. It just might be too late to tell them to make a u-turn.